Platypus Thoughts

Many years ago I bought a sad little wisteria in the very back of a nursery at the end of the season. It was clearly destined for composting. Now a decade and a half later, one tendril has finally made it across one side of our pergola. The wisteria blooms, but the blossoms are nothing like the beautiful wisteria at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden (or the front of the mansion in Bridgerton where it blooms eternally). The bunches of blossoms on our wisteria are short and short-lived, and the foliage is … well, meh.

Recently, I received eight seeds from a magnificent wisteria that grows on a mansion on a 100-year-old estate in our town. Growing things from seed or cuttings has always been a passion of mine, so I started researching. (I should mention here that I am very patient with plants. Less so with computers or people.)

Fun fact 1: There are two types of wisteria these seeds could be: Chinese and Japanese. I will have to go back up to the estate and look at the vines to see which I have. Chinese wisteria wraps itself counterclockwise; Japanese clockwise. I know toilets and drains circle in opposite directions in the northern and southern hemispheres, but both China and Japan are in the northern hemisphere, so this is a mystery.

Fun fact 2: The long furry brown wisteria pods have a marvelous way of dispersing their seeds. As they dry out, they begin to twist, eventually building up enough pressure to explode themselves open and spew their seeds far and wide (or all over your kitchen, scaring the bejeezus out of you).

Fun fact 3: To see if the seeds are viable, I put them in a jar with an inch of water. Theoretically, if they sink, they are good to go; if they float they have to go. Twenty-four hours in, all eight are on the bottom. So far so good. Kinda like dunking witches in Salem.

Fun fact 4: Should any of these seeds actually put out a root, I will plant it and watch it grow. However, I should keep in mind that it can take up to 10 years for a wisteria grown from seed to bloom. I’m 71 now. The great race is on!